Sunday, 5 February 2017
How I have grown up.
As I sit in my wonderful office and write this post. I am in aww of how much I have changed over the years. I feel I am an organized person, to a point. I feel I could be better but I also have a life. I work and have kids and a husband and they all demand my attention. I have given so much to everyone in the past that I am left empty, tired and totally drained. The past few months I have been scheduling ME into my very busy life and I am seeing how I have let the boundaries blur on all aspects of my life. I let people control my calendar, sometimes that is ok. kids get sick, friend need some extra support. That is what I am here for, but I have left ME behind burned out and sick.
Don't get me wrong I love all my family and friends but sometimes I just need me time. It may sound selfish to some but I am finding it very important to take care of myself. My kids are getting older and can make there own lunch and do chores in the house. Its important to show and teach them how this stuff gets done, its not magic or a house fairy, even though I would love one.
All I ever wanted in life was to be a mom and a wife. That is it, nothing else. Then I found the world of professional organizing and fell deeply in love with the idea that I could live a life of order and less chaos. On my journey to order I found this whole new world of less stress or better yet better stress management. I feel life is always stressful its just how to recognise this stress and how you process it.
In the past I would stress about when the kids would get sick, they where not sick but I would stress over and pre plan what to do if they got sick. My son was sick a lot with GURD and other things. I would stress about what was for dinner, if the food was healthy enough for Red. I would stress going grocery shopping. Then I started to look at myself I was a mess, my kids where anxious a lot and stressing over things as well. I had to stop the cycle and find some balance.
First was gratitude. this small thing changed EVERYTHNG. Anytime I felt stressed I would say "nope I am grateful for money to go buy healthy food for my kids to help them grow". "I am grateful I can stay home with my kids so when they do get under the weather I can stay with them". "I am grateful for takeout for days that I just didn't have time to make dinner".
This little shift in my consciousness is what makes me a better mom, wife and friend. I am more aware of my own needs and how I need to give my business and my personal life boundaries true black and white boundaries. Its hard some days, they get a little grey but that is happening less and less the more trained I get in setting them.
The other thing I feel has made me a better version of me, is that I am more open to other peoples schedules. For example in the past if someone didn't message back right away I would be worried that they were mad at me. I would stew and wonder what I did wrong how can I make it better. I was really self conscious and concerned on what others thought about me and how they saw me. In my growth I have learned, one people have a life and if its a important message to just call them. I have also learned other people have there own boundaries and that is not a bad thing and to respect them.
I have let people say I am not good at things and things have to be perfect and just right but I am learning to live this life I have wanted for a very long time. I am done letting others block my light and say its not good. The world need me, I am the only me and all I can do is be the me God created. So go out and find what you want to do and just do it, if you loose people, they are just the stepping stones in your life.